To Love And Be Loved
To Love And Be Loved
Life is for loving, there is no higher in purpose in life than to love, be loved and share that love. Love, I fear is not something that we choose, it just happens. And love, no matter how hard anyone may try to deny their need, is what sustains us. It gives us strength, purpose and reason. Love wraps it’s arms around us, though yet it may still, bring us to our knees.It is not an easy task, love. It is something that we each must work at. It requires patience, honesty, compassion, trust, acceptance, forgiveness, selflessness, commitment and time. We live in a world that is always on the go; too busy to stop, to take the time to hear our loved ones, lend a hand, a shoulder, our undivided attention. Yet, love does not flourish with out those things. Like a garden we must tend to our love, pull carefully away the weeds that might take from our love the nourishment that it needs.
Love, is the force that makes all right in our world. It heals our wounds, cures our ills and takes away our pain. Yet, love is not with out pain itself. For who among us, has not loved deeply and had that love denied. Who has not been betrayed in the face of love. The wounds of love can run very deep. There is such a thing as a broken heart. A broken heart if not nurtured, can strip away at a person and leave them empty and festering, bitter and cold.
For couples who spend many years together as man and wife, it is common to see one pass soon after the other. The prospect of living, without that person who has shared your life so completely, is unthinkable. I once did flowers for the funeral of an elderly couple who died within moments of each other. The wife had passed after a long suffering, her husband had a heart attack moments later. It struck me at the time to be a beautiful statement of his love for his wife. How deep that love must have been that they shared.
For some, that sort of love does not come easy. For others it may not come at all. That vacant space within the heart can seem unfathomable. Or, the empty longing can be like a bitter key turned to open a lock it does not fit. At times we feel that we our not worthy of love. We hear that little voice inside our heads tell us, this will never work, he or she will never love me. Sometimes, we allow that fear to rule our lives and take away our happiness. I remember the first time I listened to Marianne Williamson’s taped lecture, Love With Out An Agenda. I thought to myself, do I love with an agenda. I was surprised to find I did. We all have expectations, we all want and need love, though we may deny it, run from it, turn the other cheek. When we have expectations and those expectations are not met, we find it hard to accept that our expectations were not the same as the other person.
Acceptance is a difficult road to travel. Try as we may not to, it can be easy to find fault. Once we find fault, that fault grows and becomes like a cancer. Negativity breeds negativity, until we have been drawn into the muck and mire, and we find it hard to pull ourselves out. It pulls our self-esteem into the gutter, where our ego would prefer us to dwell. For our ego, is that nasty little voice that tells us that we are undeserving of love. Do not believe that voice, for it would leave you feeling undeserving for the rest of your life.
But, yet still, we are deserving. Each of us is worthy to love and be loved. There is no higher purpose for us as humans than to participate in this thing we call love. It gives purpose and meaning to our existence, it brings comfort and joy. Love can be like the warm summer sun on a cold winter’s night, and can hit you unaware with the force of a tidal wave. There is never a right time in our lives for love. Many, avoid love for many reasons. “I am not settled in my life, I am not successful enough, I am not ready to make a commitment.” Love is not on a schedule, and if it is, it certainly isn’t yours. It has it’s own time clock and it’s agenda belongs to a much higher power.
Many years ago, I read the Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran for the first time. I have never forgotten his passage on love and it still to this day remains in my mind to be one of the most beautiful and telling writings on love to exist. “When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.” The subject of love has been pondered by many a greater writer and poet. It is the stuff that moves some artists to create great masterpieces, either out of it’s joy or it’s pain.
So, if you find yourself lucky enough to be in love, to have love in your life, be grateful and nurture that love everyday as you would nurture a garden. Tend it well and it will grow bountiful over the years. But, if you find yourself with out love in your life, and you feel that you are unworthy of love, think again. For, there is no one among us who is unworthy of love. Strengthen yourself, if you find yourself with out love in your life. Find love within yourself for everything you do, for who and what you are. Give love to everyone, spread joy and happiness to those around you. For, it is contagious, and it will come back to you. Build the foundation within yourself upon which love may stand strong when it comes to you. It will come to you when you least it expect it. When it does, welcome it with open arms and never, ever give credence to that little voice within, that says you do not deserve the happiness and fulfillment that comes with love. There is no higher purpose in life.
Suggested Reads On Love and Relationships -
A Return To Love - By, Marianne Williamson
Soulmates - By, Thomas Moore
Journey Of The Heart - By, John Welwood Ph.D.
The Sacred Fire - By, Henry James Borys
This article was originally published in The Crystal Oasis Ezine, February 1999. Not to be reprinted with out permission of the author.
For permission to Reprint this article or exerpts of this article, or comments - email LadyPamela@aromatherapygoddess.com
